Dark Paradise
by queenofklaroline
Summary: AU- He was gone and she wasn't sure if she would ever see him again. But she had to try.


Death. Such a simple concept that happened every day. Many loved ones were lost because of this one word.

Caroline never considered death as a human but as she became the eternal monster that she now was, things changed. Just the mention of that one word made Caroline feel a cold chill. She repeated that once you die you won't ever wake up. You will be gone for good just rotting somewhere underground.

Years would pass and the number of people remembering your memory would decrease. Soon enough no one will care or recall who you were. Your soul would be gone with the only thing left proving you existed was a pile of bones.

Heaven and hell were two worlds that couldn't be proven. Caroline wanted to believe that there was something out there for her after her departure. Hell was the only option. Being a blood sucking monster made your faith sealed. God or whatever was up there wouldn't welcome her with open arms. The devil would embrace her kindly as she entered.

Usually this made Caroline cry all night just the thought of an immortal vampire like herself dieing and reappearing in hell. But today was different. Today was the start of her plan. Caroline Forbes would kill herself.

No one would expect this bubbly blonde to take her life but they were wrong. She had changed. After that night 1 month ago all she could think of was death. Her best friends would know the reason but guilt would overtake them. They were at fault for Caroline"s suicide mission.

They took him away from her. Her reason for existing just faded away. Her world was gone. He was her whole world. A world full of promises and experiences which now disappeared.

Since the night that he died all Caroline felt was emptiness. It was as if he took a piece of her with him leaving her with rage and lonliness to keep her company. A world without him meant nothing to her. She craved him now more than ever. The way he looked at her as if he was staring straight at her soul. The way he would brush away the few strands of her blonde hair that managed to escape, leaving his warm hand against her cheek. The way his strong arms felt wrapped around her small body. As he held her she felt safe. Safer than she ever felt. Caroline missed his dimples that managed to get him out of every fight between them. His smile, his face, his voice, his body. All of that was gone.

Her heart was broken and all she wanted to do was to stop the aching. It consumed her like never before, never letting her just breathe. Since the moment that he died Caroline hadn't been able to take a deep breathe. Just fast unnatural releases of air. Nothing mattered without him.

She didn't drink blood for a week after his death. All that she was able to do was sit in his room. Their room. She would just stare at his things. Curling up in the sheets inhaling the scent that forever marked her. His scent reminded her of her loss which was just what she craved.

The second week without him consisted of her walking aimlessly around town searching for something,anything that would make her feel. Any emotions would do just anything that would make up for the gaping hole she felt inside. Unfortunately she wasn't graced with her wish, just more emptiness and despair.

The third week was the hardest. This was the week when she attempted to face people. Faceless nameless humans who no longer meant anything to her. That week Caroline attempted her first smile. That smile was a lie. Everything she did was a lie. None of her smiles were genuine as well as her words. She lied saying she was ok not caring what happened. But she didn't care that she lied to her mom, friends, and even his family. All that mattered was that he was gone from her life. Forever.

As the thought sunk it so did her exhaustion. She hadn't slept in weeks. Since that horrid night all Caroline did at night was lay down and stare. Stare at the blank ceiling that resembled how she felt inside. Blank. Empty. Cracked. Damaged.

Memories of their time together flooded her brain not giving her a minute of peace. But she didn't want peace anyway. What she wanted was him. Her love, soul and heart. He was her protector, her lover , her everything. His memory caused her to make this decision that final week of sadness. That last fourth week.

During the fourth week she planned everything. She said goodbyes hidden in some meaningless conversations among her close ones. Most people would use that time to discover new things before they disappeared but what was the point? Without him she was nothing. She saw nothing, heard nothing and wanted nothing. Soon enough they would be together again and this time forever. From there they can discover all the things he wanted but more. Much more.

Caroline slowly sat on her bed making sure to listen for her mother. Luckily her mother had an early shift which meant her daughter had the house to herself. Perfect.

As she sat on her bed in full view of the window she saw the bright sunlight pour into the room lighting every corner making sure everything was shining. Caroline hated the sunlight. She wanted the darkness to fill her days and her nights. It reminded her of him. He loved nights but he always said she was his sunlight. She lite up even the black cold insides of his perfect self. Well that would make him her night. He cherished her sunlight while she held onto his darkness. His comforting deep darkness that surrounded her as he held her in his arms.

Caroline played with the ring on her hand. The ring that protected her from the fire brought on by the sun. But without him she didn't want to. She didn't want to wear this ring or walk this earth. She wanted to join him.

That was the decision she made at the start of this week. She would leave this useless place and go to her the object of her affections. To her existence. Caroline knew he would wait for her there because he promised. He promised that they would meet again and be together forever.

This thought gave her the courage she was lacking to gently but swiftly throw her ring on the floor and stand by her window.

She approached the window with new found courage standing there ready for the fire to begin.

It started at her face with her cheeks. It spread to her whole face the extremely hot sensation burning her flesh quickly and with ease. Soon her hands and body began to feel the impact of the heated sunlight as the excruciating pain moved all over her body not leaving anything untouched.

Yet all Caroline did was embrace it. The pain was worth it to her no matter what. Soon enough she would see the one person she loved most in this and every world. She didn't understand why she didn't think of this earlier instead of torturing herself.

No one would understand her decision but it was hers to make. They all assumed that they knew him but they didn't. Only his family which included Caroline truly understood him which was the problem. That was why Damon decided to end the life of the one person Caroline trusted and loved blindly.

As she felt her knees going weak and everything around her going black she felt it. This feeling of death wasn't what she expected. She felt light but heavy at the same time. The fire still burned all around her yet a breeze managed to find its way in.

Caroline fell onto the floor not caring anymore. She knew she made the right choice and with that being confirmed the young vampire whispered her final words. The words that proved how right she was. "Nik".

* * *

**This is an old one shot that I promised my Olivebear I would repost. So if you see a different writing style, you can blame me!**


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